There’s Nothing Wrong With The Olive Garden

I’m not saying that The Olive Garden is super authentic Italian food. I’m from FUCKING LONG ISLAND, the land of Italian, Jewish, and Italianjewmigrants. I know what good pasta tastes like, and I know what good pizza tastes like.

But sometimes, you just want to stuff yourself and not pay $40 for your meal. People like to shit on The OG because it’s not real Italian food, and that’s some bullshit because I know you’re stuffing your stupid fucking face with Chipotle or even worse, MOE’S. Moe’s has no flavor. There’s no seasoning on that shit, there’s nothing Mexican about it.

You know what THE OG’s got? UNLIMITED BREADSTICKS AND SALAD, THAT’S WHAT THE OG’S GOT. If you don’t fuck with the OG, I don’t fuck with you. Because I’m gonna eat 2 plates of salad, a few breadsticks with alfredo dipping sauce, and a $15 entree, and I don’t care if it was made by a guy who’s seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa before. And if I want more, I can get more. The OG doesn’t pussyfoot about like when they offer unlimited pancakes and never come back to your table (I’m looking at you IHOP)

Everything has a time and a place. Sometimes you’re on a nice date and you want to splurge $150 on a meal. It’ll taste way better, and the waiter will probably pronounce it “mootzarelle,” I understand. I don’t recommend taking someone you’re trying to impress to Olive Garden. I’m saying that you should stop hating on me for liking unlimited breadsticks. It’s cheap food and it tastes good. If you don’t agree, don’t you dare fucking talk to me.

With Love,

  1 comment for “There’s Nothing Wrong With The Olive Garden

  1. ken
    July 29, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    The Olive Garden? I bet they don’t even pronounce Ricotta ri-GOTTTTTTTT.

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