Month: August 2017

No, Ann Coulter does not believe Houston is being punished for a lesbian mayor.

POTUS Donald Trump accidentally called to attention a phenomenon that has infuriated matt for years now. Ann Coulter is the latest victim of fake news. These are matt’s opinions and don’t reflect those of the other authors affiliated with FactsB.

**Let me first make it clear that I do not agree with this tweet at all and think Ann Coulter is a crazy person.

Below is a tweet from conservative pundit Ann Coulter from August 28, 2017:

For the uninformed reader, Ann Coulter is a popular conservative pundit, television personality, and author of several books. She’s renowned, perhaps infamous, for her political insights and is a frequent guest on political talk shows. She’s a Presbyterian with a traditional, conservative sense of American politics and society, and honestly is often reviled by many moderates and left-wingers alike.

One should also understand that pro-conservative parties in the United States are currently pushing the idea that the idea of climate change due to human activity is false and should be disregarded as a serious threat to our earth. This is something that they are believing, whether by choice or by political agenda. Ann Coulter is one of mind with these very people.

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Burger King’s Chicken Permission Sandwich Was Okay

matt bought a chicken permission sandwich on a whim today after seeing it advertised on television a single time. Well played, Burger King marketing team.

I can’t clearly remember the last time I went to Burger King. I’m pretty certain it was one morning, finishing up a late-night shift at a hotel, I went to a Burger King for some of their trademarked soggy hashbrowns and a world-famous croissan’wich. This time, I saw an advertisement while staying at a hotel, and decided that it would be my meal for the very next day. My girlfriend made me go through the drive-thru, even though I secretly didn’t want to drive and eat at the same time. I figured it would save an us argument future down the road  (boy was I wrong).

I had to wait an inordinate amount of time for a “fast food” sandwich. In what I have found to be commonplace in America, my car was told to pull around front to wait for the sandwich as they were waiting on chicken patties to be cooked and meticulously placed on a bun with permission cheese melted on top. I guess they weren’t actually ready for someone to order something they’re advertising on their windows. After about ten minutes I haughtily headed inside to yell at a manager – just as the cashier was leaving with my sandwiches to the car.

The genesis of an argument. Pictured: an angry stubborn man and a hungry girl. Also did you know this place had Chicken Nuggets for a buck fifty? Bought me one of them bad boys mmmmm chicken nuggers

The sandwich itself was rather bland. It was pretty much what I expected: marinara sauce from a can with a few shavings of permission cheese and one of their usual crispy chicken patties on a remarkably untoasted bun. The nature of the chicken permission sandwich dictates that it will get soggy approximately five seconds before the bread is even involved. The breading on the chicken will fall off and the bun will be mostly marinara before you unwrap the thing. Despite its misgivings, a good chicken permission sandwich gets me watering at the mouth and hurtin’ at the stomach.Continue reading “Burger King’s Chicken Permission Sandwich Was Okay” »

Post-midnight thoughts 8.23.2017: Some angry writing about Buzzfeed

I just wanted to angry write about Buzzfeed and how much I despise the website’s success despite its poor quality writing.

This is from an article (click to view) about duck penises and how ducks have sex from Buzzfeed, the young millenials’ choice for entertainment, news and biology:

Kelly Oakes (BuzzFeed Staff, UK)

Meanwhile there is literally more text in the first half of this screenshot (click to see entry) of Discover magazine’s blog entry from 2009 than there is in the Buzzfeed article’s actual text:

Ed Yong (Discover Magazine Blog 2009)

My point isn’t to rag on Buzzfeed for having a short and sweet, cute article on duck penises. My point isn’t to somehow demean the author of the article by comparing it to what was clearly a researched and verbose article about duck genitalia. But I just want everyone to see the difference in the quality of writing, and quietly wonder to themselves “Why have we decided that less reading is good?”Continue reading “Post-midnight thoughts 8.23.2017: Some angry writing about Buzzfeed” »

Post-midnight thoughts 8.17.2017

A random assortment of thoughts spilled out stream-of-consciousness style. I touch on controversial subjects tonight. Opinions in no way represent FactsB or other affiliated authors.

On Charlottesville, news media:
The damage being dealt to the left-wing and left-biased media outlets by the ultraconservative agenda almost seems intentional in how, as a collective, news outlets and entertainment figures are acting about and reacting to Donald Trump and various current events. Nobody seems to think before they speak, and speaking in hyperbole has become the norm. Diction matters for a reason, and consistently the staunchest critics of Donald Trump sidestep the right points by over-exaggerating certain issues that many White Americans simply don’t care about or cannot relate to yet (Except Charlottesville, that’s quite clearly a white supremacist rally and I think most people are at least concerned about it).

White nationalists march in Charlottesville. Alejandro Alvarez/News2Share/Via Reuters

They consistently give Donald Trump fuel to use in order to sway his very vocal supporters, who in turn give the news MORE fuel to exaggerate. When you make conservative pundits and outlets seem relatively sane in comparison, you might be doing something wrong. I don’t think they’re necessarily wrong nor do I feel like they should have to change. The truth of the matter is that Americans have to become smarter media consumers or else no amount of changing our tone will get through to people.

There needs to be a culture change. A popular myth states that Americans will take one year to build a bridge that lasts 10 years, but the Germans will take 10 years to build a bridge that lasts forever (one version I’ve heard). We’ve got to change our minds and the way we consume our media (and our food).
We’ve turned into a country of extremes, and I hope we can find that middle ground again.

That being said, nobody is the winner here when the US government clearly has an agenda to run this country into the ground by continuing to sabotage our education, overspend on defense, diminish healthcare, and halt social progress. But that’s just me.

On sports:
Football preseason has started, and that means everybody is out making wild assumptions about their teams record this year. Me? I predict the Broncos will have a more outstanding season than last, hopefully with a rejuvenated offense with some juice behind it. A 10-6 record would be their best record this season, I think, and they’ll probably one and done it in the post-season. Look how far ahead I am predicting this unpredictable game. Super Bowl winners? Probably the Steelers or Patriots versus the Giants or the Packers. Safe bets!

It’s going to be a good season of football as parity in the league has been restored for the most part (at first glance) with only a few outliers remaining. The Patriots dynasty is probably one of the most dominant in the history of the league, and I doubt it gets challenged by someone in the near future. The stranglehold they’ve kept on the AFC will continue to hold as Tom Brady reaches his 40th birthday while still paying in the NFL. For reference, he’s only the 33rd player to play after 40.

Tom Brady looks on as an errant pass is taken to the house for 6. The Patriots would end up winning the Super Bowl, overcoming the score of 28-3 against the Atlanta Falcons. (Getty Images via SportingNews)


My favorite draft pick this year is probably Mitch Trubisky. I think the Bears caught people by surprise with this one (because they either traded up too much or didn’t? i forget and i’m too lazy to look it up now!), and based on one preseason game I’ve seen him in I can say that I think he’ll do well in the NFL. Granted it was against 2nd and 3rd stringers, but give the guy credit where its due, yeah? That Mike Glennon looks as awful as the former starter of the Tampa Bay Bucs should, by the way.

Continue reading “Post-midnight thoughts 8.17.2017” »

Vintage Youtube: Saul “Tre” Cohen

Once upon a time, “YouTuber” wasn’t a career option, and the best videos on youtube were made by kids who wanted to have some fun. No overproduced intros, no constant reminders to, “Like, comment, subscribe, down below.” I miss this era of  internet media where people were creating content without thinking about engagement ratings or adsense money.

I thought of this Bay Life series the other night about this Jewish guy “Saul Cohen” who decides to change his name to “Tre” and embrace Bay Life Culture.


And a Bonus Parody: