Month: March 2017

BBQ Rib Sandwiches Make No Sense At All

Naturally, one might believe that two good ideas mixed into one is the best idea. Sometimes, this is true. But other times, you run into things like shampoo-conditioner mix or the Democratic/Republican bipartisan split – things that are good ideas on their own being mixed against all wisdom. The BBQ rib sandwich is one such invention.

http://chicago.seriouseats.com/2013/11/we-take-a-look-at-four-new-barbecue-joints.html
There are more ways to spill a BBQ rib sandwich on yourself than there are stars in the sky. (Photo from Serious Eats)

Today I went to an excellent little diner in Sumner, WA called Berryland. This small American breakfast and lunch diner in America is one of the last bastions of wholesome, American-prepared diner fare: sausage gravy smothered biscuits and hashbrowns, country-fried steak, eggs to order, sourdough to rye bread for toast. One of those places where you see senior-citizens more often than not, a lot of Trump votes in the room, a place where the waiter openly admits that you’re the first “Choi” they’ve ever served. Again, wholesome and American.

My menu item of choice is generally the biscuits and gravy or country-fried steak, but today I felt adventurous. I wanted to eat something heavier, something more between lunch and dinner. My eyes fell upon what appeared to be the best choice on the menu that was not an actual breakfast menu item: The BBQ Rib Sandwich.

Let me get this straight: I love ribs, pork or beef. Shoot, chicken breasts are all right too, though they encompass more than the ribs. In any case, ribs are easily the best things to come from any animal. Barbecue ribs are even better. I love ribs. I can eat ribs for days, weeks, months, years at a time. If I could have two baskets of infinite food they’d be BBQ ribs and fried chicken. There’s no other food that needs to be infinite on this planet.

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Why do humans get put in jail if they’re seen pooping on the street, but dogs get to have humans pick their shit up?

This phenomenon appears to confine itself to dogs – no other pet receives this kind of treatment. People regularly leave their rabbits surrounded in their own feces; cats instinctively seek the litter box we lay out for them, burying their feces in a cleanly, out of view fashion; police horses don’t have to have their shit cleaned up until much, much later after 15 people’s days were already thoroughly ruined. And yet, the dog remains the only animal that we require by policy in many, many places for us to pick up their feces.

Yeah, sure, you can make the argument that most people who own pets and are taking them outside at all where other people are constantly moving would be dog owners. I’m not trying to deny this undeniable fact – it’s true that most people who walk their pets are dog owners, and that most places to walk pets are where other people walk.

Suck it, dogs. Dogs are dumb.
Do dog owners even want this to be a reality? Would they? I think they secretly enjoy picking dog poop up. (Photo from Discount Dog Poop Bags visit them for discount dog poop bags I guess)

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