Month: October 2016

Brock Osweiler played like doodoo on Monday.

(Editor’s Note: This article had a much ruder headline before, but has since been changed to not deride the female gender or their genitalia. Thank you.)

Dude showed up to his old stadium and played like the tallest stack of doodoo this side of the Mississippi. That’s a lot of ground to cover, and I’m sure Osweiler’s shadow reaches that much ground when the sun starts to set on his candy ass. In any case, the Denver Broncos defense talked big like they would bring it and they did bring it, though Brock Osweiler managed to escape without a sack. Reportedly, he offered a “Good hit” to Broncos safety TJ Ward at some point, who did not respond because he didn’t want to lose the Terminator vibe (his words!).

Houston Texans quarterback Brock Osweiler (17) loses the ball just before his hand moving forward. This was ruled a fumble, recovered by Denver Broncos’ cornerback Chris Harris Jr. (Sports Illustrated 2016)

Pretty sure Brock Osweiler is the first QB to “throw a fumble.” Honestly I was perplexed by the calling, but the refs saw what the refs saw I guess. It was a bad throw, nonetheless. I mean, this is your old team dude. Play with some fire, be stubborn, stick in the pocket! Yeah, I wanted to see his ass crumble like soggy onion ring towers and that’s surely what happened this Monday. But give people a show! Dazzle us with that ┬ámagic you conjured up against the Indianapolis Colts.

Know this: Brock Osweiler is not elite. At least, not yet. Can he still turn into an elite QB? The answer is a solid maybe. Says who? Says me.

Okay, let’s give credit where credit is due. The Houston Texans brought it to the Denver Broncos as best they could, and for what it’s worth gashed the Broncos weak defensive interior to the tune of 124 rushing yards. They gave Osweiler the best chances they could, setting him up with great field position at times. Again and again, Lamar Miller and Alfred Blue kept the drive going, only for Osweiler’s passing to ruin things.

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