Alright, so you finally met up with that girl from Tinder. You got coffee and made some good conversation, but you only met for an hour since she had crossfit or some other millennial female obligation afterward. You’re texting her and she’s texting back, but without being able to see her body language or tone, you can’t tell if she’s really that into you or not. Your first instinct will be to show your boys and see what they think. Don’t bother with this, because they can’t help you. One of your friends looks like Brad Pitt and he’s going to assume she’s interested, because every girl is interested in him. Your other friend has had sex one time ever, and will also tell you that she’s interested because he obviously knows what he’s talking about.
But in reality, gauging how interested a girl is through her text messages is a simple but precise science. This information contained in this lesson is not peer-reviewed or from an academic study performed in a controlled environment, but results should be fairly easy to reproduce these experiments on your own.
How Many Y’s Though?
You might have noticed that girls like to add extra letters to words when they text. Guys do this too, but it’s much more likely for a male to replicate the behavior of the person that he’s texting. Males texting each other are never “realllyyyyy exciteddddd” to go the bar tonight. The below two examples are essentially the same conversation, but one Male to Female, and the other Male to Male. It should be fairly obvious to decipher which is which.
As you can see with the exclamation points, emojis, and extra letters, she was obviously enthusiastic about seeing me that night. On the other hand, if your texts to a girl look like more like the conversation I had with my good buddy Luke, she’s probably not that down.
Since “hey” is typically the most acceptable greeting for a text conversation, it is by far the best way to gauge interest. More y’s indicates more interest. A “hey” with only a single y roughly translates to “fuck off,” a “heyyy” with three y’s indicates some interest, and a “heyyyyyyy” with seven y’s indicates that she wants anal.
Now you might be thinking, “Whoa, slow down there! She wants anal? How could that be?”
Here’s an important fact that many who claim to understand y-theory fail to realize. Y’s are added to “hey” on a base ten logarithmic scale, similar to the Richter scale used to measure earthquakes. What this means is that each “y” is ten times more powerful than the last. Think of how a magnitude 5 earthquake will likely just move some furniture while a magnitude 6 can collapse a building. That’s what we are dealing with here.
Here’s a fairly typical example of a text where we have just exchanged numbers. Notice the “cute” comment with the extra letters. Even if she didn’t say that, I could fairly assume that I have something to work with here.
Here is an example of a text where the girl is my friend, but obviously not interested that way. Aside from her stating “i am not interested in you,” you can see that even though she is being friendly with me, she is not adding any extra bubbliness or emotion into her texts:
An important thing not to get confused with adding extra letters to the ends of words is the use of emojis, exclamation points, and maybe sometimes ~’s at the end of sentences from those artsy worldly hippie chicks. I’ve talked about bubbliness before, and here you have to gauge who exactly you’re texting. If you’re texting the recruitment chair of Alpha Chi Omega, she probably uses emojis all of the time. On the other hand, if you’re texting a deadpan Aubrey Plaza type girl, she probably won’t. But worry not, the “heyyyyy” can come from any type of girl.
So now, you should be a total expert in interpreting texts. Get out there and catch some y’s!