Month: September 2015

My 5 Favorite Songs of 2015 (That don’t include Drake or The Weeknd)

What kind of music do you listen to? This question always stumps me, because the real answer is pretty much “Just Drake and The Weeknd,” but I do occasionally dabble in female-driven pop, post-hardcore, EDM, and whatever happens to be playing on Hot 97. So here, I really struggled to find 5 songs released this year that I like, that do not include either of those artists.

5. Meek Mill – All Eyes on You

After the entire world has been shitting on Meek Mill for attempting to beef with Drake, and getting him *cough* Charged Up, *cough* I can at least appreciate that Meek Mill collaborates well with other artists, especially when he doesn’t use his angry voice and works with Nicki Minaj and Chris Brown. On this track, I’d actually say that Nicki Minaj stood out to me the most. I think this is her best verse since Monster, although there is still a pretty large gap. Anyway, I’d say all three of them gave above average performance resulting in a pretty nice song to bump in the whip.

4. All Time Low – Something’s Gotta Give

Good ol’ pop-punk. All Time Low has been one of my guilty pleasures, but sometimes it’s so guilty that I had the chance to see them live at a music festival and ended up passing on them. I ended up seeing a hardcore band I don’t remember the name of because the crowd was full of preteen girls and their mothers, which was pretty unappetizing after I had been in a dozen mosh pits earlier that day. Most old All Time Low fans don’t keep up with them lately, but this song is rather catchy, and if you still bump Dear Maria or Weightless, this song is probably worth checking out. If you happen to really like the riffing in this song, I also recommend checking out Cartel’s Sympathy, since this song totally ripped off of that. (I was mad about that for like, 2 weeks but I got over it)

3. Phoebe Ryan – Homie

Honestly, Phoebe Ryan probably has way better songs than Homie, but there’s something so great about the word “Homie” and the whole message behind the song. What’s the point of being anything more, or anything less. Right now you’re you’re exactly who I need you to be, so just get undressed. It represents the move away from dating culture and taking relationships too seriously, and I’m pretty much fine with that.

2. Carly Rae Jepsen – Boy Problems

This song is so poppy and peppy that there’s a good chance you’ll internally combust on your first listen. A Katy Perry-esque poppy bassline paired with Carly’s sweeter-than-sugar voice created pure cocaine in the form of a Carly Rae Jepsen song. This song makes you want to dance, but you’re most likely going to feel really bad about it after the song ends. So you just end up listening to the song again. And again. And again.

1. Dance Gavin Dance – Eagle vs Crows

Honestly, I haven’t kept up with Dance Gavin Dance, and the first time I listened to this song was last night. However, unlike all of the 4 above songs, I’m in no way embarrassed to listen to this song. If you don’t appreciate it, you can at least tell it’s something that music snobs would like since it’s got a nice blend of complex guitar, and the mix of harsh/soft vocals and is catchy WITHOUT sounding anything like A Day to Remember. I can already tell that I’ll be listening to this song for years.

PSA: Don’t Wear Mom Jeans

Stop trying to make mom jeans happen. It’s not going to happen.

Alright, I get it. Some of you are too fat to wear skinny jeans, but no amount of complaining about how overly tight they are and pretending that they aren’t stylish is going to make them go away. They’re pervasive in all sorts of social niches from hipster to hypebeast. You don’t look at your favorite celebrities on billboard ads to see them shirtless with their lower half covered by relaxed fit jeans like the ones you wear when you eat donuts on the couch watching The O’Reilly Factor. Nah, they’re wearing slim fit at the baggiest.

You can’t claim to know anything about fashion and wear relaxed fit jeans. There’s nothing “relaxed” about fashion in the first place. Comfort is often a necessary sacrifice for beauty, like how getting your sockless feet cut up in a brand new pair of Sperry Topsiders is a rite of passage for both yourself and the shoe. Another example that I shouldn’t even have to explain, boot cut jeans are meant to be worn with BOOTS. If you’re not wearing boots, DON’T WEAR THOSE!!!! It’s in the name, it should be extremely simple to figure out.

Unless you’re like morbidly obese, you WILL fit into a pair of straight or slim fit jeans from a good brand, and it will look several orders of magnitude better than the mom jeans that you found on the discount rack at Wal-Mart. Ok sure, you lost some breathing room but please, it’s not anywhere close to how bad wearing heels is, but at least most girls take that in stride and know that it makes them look good.

Even though various rap songs would tell you that skinny jeans are without a doubt the best, in reality the ideal cut of jeans does depend on your body type. But NOBODY has a body like mom jeans are designed. Nobody. So step outside of your comfort zone (walmart) and find a damn pair of good fitting jeans if you don’t want to be laughed at in public by people who actually know how to dress.